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Stash of cash in car just doesn’t add up

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Updated: May 3, 2011 4:46AM



The legal battle over the $190,040 confiscated from Jesus and Jose Martinez by astute Aurora police officers and drug sniffing K-9s last October is likely to continue into the near future.

The good news is that the city of Aurora will not be held in contempt of court for not following a court order to return the bundle of cash seized from the brothers.

The bad news for the Martinezes is that the Department of Homeland Security, said to have taken possession of the money, are the same people who confiscate deodorant, shampoo and baby food at the airport. So, the chance of seeing that stack of cash again is as likely as the brothers booking a flight on the Starship Enterprise.

Eventually the courts will sort it out, but by now, they must realize that Kane County Judge Mueller’s ruling very strongly suggests that their cash has been taken for a ride.

Of course, this isn’t the first time that a large amount of cash has been seized from an automobile. The automobile is favored by some to conceal a variety of things. Who can forget that great scene from the 1971 Oscar-winning film, “The French Connection”?

In another case, a couple of construction workers had allegedly concealed $300,000 in an automobile. Who said that the construction industry is in a slump?

It wasn’t the alleged concealment of the money that struck me as odd. What shocked me was that they’d ride around in the city of Aurora, or for that matter, anywhere in the state of Illinois, with that kind of cash.

Not everyone is a news junkie, but these guys apparently don’t have cable or read the newspaper. I mean, who is not aware that the state of Illinois has a $13 billion deficit, and that cities across the country are strapped for cash? And even in good times, Gov. Quinn wants his take.

In this economy, with the exception of a few ZIP codes, you’d have to be loony to ride around with a bundle of cash under your car seat.

Bean counters from far and near would risk a million paper cuts just to get a gander at that kind of cash. You know, for old time’s sake.

Had the brothers kept driving east, and scraped together, say, another couple hundred dollars, they could have bought Detroit!

So, I’m guessing that these two enjoy the excitement of high-stakes finance. They are probably financial thrill seekers, Wall Street players on wheels. That would explain why they’d take the chance of driving around Aurora, where several red-light camera violations would take a big chunk of their stash.

There’s talk that the brothers had originally planned to drive to Chicago and spend the day visiting museums. However, they decided against it when one of the brothers, possibly a mathematical genius, performed a brilliant calculation.

After considering Chicago’s recently increased parking rates — and get this, calculating the amount of time that they’d likely spend at each museum — the dynamic duo concluded that feeding Chicago’s meters would deplete most of their cash.

Talk about genius. Was there perhaps an IMSA alumnus in the driver’s seat?

If this thing drags out, and it seems headed in that direction, after legal fees they’ll be lucky to get back 40 bucks.

In the meantime, they should park the car, stay home and watch a movie.

My brain isn’t working today, but there’s a movie that’s perfect for the brothers. All I remember is that it stars Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels.

Anthony Stanford is a freelance journalist and contributor to Chicagoland radio living in Aurora. He can be reached at bmhtales@sbcglobal.net or on Facebook.



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