King of Poop now on eBay
By Denise Crosby firstname.lastname@example.org August 10, 2012 5:36PM
In this March 5, 2009 file photo, Michael Jackson is shown at a press conference in London. (AP)
Updated: September 13, 2012 6:09AM
So OK, we all know money doesn’t fall from the sky ... but Brandon Tudor is hoping for a little manna from heaven after a bird decided to plop an unexpected gift on the windshield of his car.
Call him a bird brain if you want, but the guy says the dropping bears a strong resemblance to music icon Michael Jackson. And for the next week he’s going to try selling it — yes, the glass window will be included — on eBay.
“One of two things will happen,” predicted Tudor, an Oswego salesman and father of three. “It will go for an astronomical amount, or I’ll get nothing.”
Sounds pretty “Black or White” to me.
The starting bid, a minimum requirement for eBay, is $500, which seems like a bargain. I mean, we’re not talking about an image of Abraham Lincoln or Mother Teresa here. This is the King of Plop ... ah ... Pop, after all.
I know. “Bad” attempts at humor about a music legend are inappropriate. So I’ll stick to the facts.
Tudor, 29, says he was driving along Route 30 near Big Rock on Wednesday afternoon with his girlfriend and daughters when the free-falling waste splattered onto the windshield of his 1996 Cadillac Seville. He immediately saw the resemblance to the eccentric long-haired singer in his, well, eccentric long-haired years. It was a likeness that became more obvious “after it hardened.”
“Everybody loves it,” he says. “There’s not one person who’s seen it that doesn’t agree it looks like Michael Jackson.”
This isn’t the first time Tudor has found his way into a column from the category of the weird and wacky. A year ago, he and his 10-year-old daughter spotted a UFO over the skies of Montgomery as they were driving on Route 30 — a road which obviously drives its share of the weird and wacky.
It seemed to be a ball of fire falling toward Earth at a 45-degree angle. Suddenly, he says, the flame extinguished and the trail of smoke changed direction, rising to a 30-degree angle. Tudor had time to snap four pictures before the mysterious apparition disappeared. And his photos created quite an online stir in his quest to find out if others had seen it or had suggestions as to what it might be.
From falling UFOs to falling bird poop? It appears the sky is the limit when it comes to Tudor’s perceptions and/or imagination.
Tudor — he did not contact me; a reporter found his eBay item on Facebook — laughs. The proof is in the pictures, he said of both the Jackson image and the UFO.
In case you’re thinking about bidding, Tudor has his treasure covered in plastic to prevent it from washing away. And for additional protection — against damaging hail or ruthless art thieves — his Caddy is parked in the garage.
And Tudor’s not just stopping with the dropping. In the next few days he plans on having T-shirts and hats made up bearing the King of Poop’s image.
I’ll let you know how he fares on the auction block. The ending to a story about bird poop may not exactly be a “Thriller.” But when it comes to distractions from murder trials and other bad news, you just can’t “Beat It.”